California Beerzine

Are You a Beervangelist?

We all have them: craft beer-averse friends and family members. Sure, you could just leave them alone and let them live their lives this way. But then, really, wouldn’t you be letting them down? Converting non-beer drinkers can be a long and painful experience, but don’t you owe it to your parents, significant other, siblings, neighbors, high school buddies, dog walker, dry cleaner, butcher, baker, and/or candlestick maker to show them the light?

Of course you do. And since I’m sure your motives would be entirely selfless – your companion’s beverage enjoyment being your first and only concern – the benefits that accrue are just the icing on the cake. With each conversion, the results are immediate and gratifying: one more buddy to hit the festival circuit with, one more friend who’ll split a 750mL with you, one more cousin who will never make you swill Bud Light at his BBQ again.

So what’s a gal who’s into lukewarm cask beer to do about companions who feel entirely lukewarm about beer?

Converting them over to the dark side (and the amber side, the golden side, and all the other beer shade sides in between) is easier than you might think. It may take time, but with patience and a good attitude, there are few craft beer neophytes who can’t be won over. Here are a few tips for successful beervangelism:

Tip #1: Choose your targets wisely. Start with those friends and family who are interested in your hobby. Anyone who has expressed admiration for your label collection or your ability to name the seven Trappist breweries is fair game here.

Gourmet-types (those with a special appreciation of wine, chocolate, Carolina-style ribs, or what have you) are also great targets. They are generally deathly afraid of being labeled ‘unadventurous’ and their feelings of guilt and inadequacy over their craft beer ignorance leaves them ripe for conversion.

Leave your Mormon, Muslim, and otherwise religiously abstinent friends alone. Not only should you respect their fidelity to their beliefs, they make very reliable designated drivers.

Save the macro-brew fanatics for last. Matthew McConaughey’s brother is the poster-boy for this camp (he named his kid Miller Lyte for goodness sake!). They’re best won over via a war of attrition. Once you’ve converted all their friends and family, such that they’re faced with a choice between social isolation, perpetual BYOB, or giving your favorite brews a try, they’ll almost certainly cave.

Tip #2: Don’t be a know it all. No one likes being told that you’d sooner donate a kidney than let their precious Natty Light (yes, it does have a following) cross your lips. And, believe it or not, they don’t always want to listen to a monologue from you about which variety of hops is your favorite.

Keep it simple, but not patronizing. Offer a beer that you personally like – there’s nothing worse than saying, “Here, I think you’ll like this… well, no, I don’t drink it myself, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.” Tell your friend one or two things you like about the beer (e.g., “This beer is aged in oak barrels, so it picks up a vanilla flavor that I really like,” or “I had this beer with Thai food once and it was amazing – the hops go really well with spicy foods.”)

Then, stop and listen, wait for your friend to ask questions, and resist the urge to tell them everything you know about the style in question. And perhaps most importantly, give a clear “I don’t know” when you can’t answer a friend’s question. There’s no better way to encourage your friend to learn more about beer than to show that you’re still learning yourself. If you’re ashamed to admit your own areas of ignorance, how is your friend supposed to ask questions that show how much he/she doesn’t yet know?

Tip #3: Be a thoughtful host. Spend some time listening to what your friend currently enjoys. Not only will people feel more appreciated if you let them rattle on about the distinction between Cabernet Franc and Cabernet Sauvignon (”uh-huh… ok, pepperiness, right… vanilla, ok… got it.”), but it will help you suggest something they’re more likely to enjoy, bringing your one step closer to having a companion for the road trip to Dark Lord Day.

Just because you’re a hop head, a Belgian sour fanatic, or a German lager aficionado, doesn’t mean your friend will like the same style. By the same token, don’t underestimate your friend and hand the lightest, most innocuous fruited American wheat beer that you can find to her, no one likes being condescended to.

If your friend likes Pinot Noir, consider a Flanders Red for the acidity and tart red fruit flavors, like cherry and red currants. If your friend likes Champagne, consider a saison, for the sparkling carbonation, light to medium body, and slightly sweet fruitiness. If you can find one, a biere de champagne, which undergoes the same methode de champenoise as sparkling wine, might be an even better match. If your friend likes whiskeys, consider one of the many bourbon barrel-aged beers on the market at the moment. But what if your friend is a dyed-in-the-wool macrobrew drinker?

One of my favorites for this group is a true Bavarian Hefeweizen. It doesn’t have the aggressive hops of an IPA or roast of a stout, but neither is it so similar to their everyday brew so as to make them think it tastes like something went wrong on the bottling line in Golden, Colorado. Ask whether your friend can taste banana or bubble gum, which if you’ve chosen well, he or she will be almost certainly be able to.

Just remember: each time you convert someone, a bottle of craft brewed beer has found a happy home in someone’s belly.

Jessica “JJ” Jones is the author of The Thirsty Hopster, a blog covering beers, breweries, and events, with an emphasis on the SF Bay Area. Don’t let the name fool you, she’s as big a fan of wild ales and ‘malt monsters’ as she is of IPAs. Her wine-drinking parents are her own current beervangelism project, having moved up the food chain after converting her sister from Midori sours and her brother from Keystone Light.